This should have been my first option, going to the GP, but at the time I wanted to stay away from medication and knew this is something the doctor would suggest. Also, I just didn’t like telling people about the way I felt. I chose a doctor that I have had a good experience with in the past and one who I felt I could talk to comfortably. At this time, as I had been for the past month or so, I was really down, crying all the time, catastrophising things and acting very panicky. So needless to say this was quite a big step for me to talk to my doctor and I got quite upset. She asked if I had told my PhD supervisor, I said no because I wanted to keep it away from work as I didnt feel like it was effecting my work too much at that time. She was really understanding and suggested medication which I reluctantly accepted, I began on 10mg of Citalopram, a low dose initially to make sure that I didn’t have any side effects.
The week I began the medication, I felt pretty terrible and was probably one of the worst I have acted. I wouldn’t say I felt worse but acted with crying and frustration. I know by this point my parents and girlfriend were pretty worried about me and I was finding it very hard myself. After 3-4 weeks my dose was increased to 20mg. The first effects of the medication I noticed was that it had begun to take the edge off things, not my feelings but my behaviour, so there was a lot less crying and acting irrationally. But I knew more was needed to get rid of the way I was feeling. The doctor suggested I see the student counselors.