The counsellor did seem to be well suited to me because she was the first person who challenged me and said how stupid it was about how I was feeling and so completely irrational. She challenged it by asking where the evidence was. Also I mentioned leaving my work and instead of saying ‘no don’t do it’ like everyone else had said, she said do it then and it shocked me into saying no I can’t do that! Which made me realise that it was stupid to even think this at the start.
At this point I was still really low and we discussed a lot about my personality and how this may have led to the way I was feeling. We also talked about a few things which could be used to help get me better. One of these things was visulisations, putting my mind into a place where it was happy and I could relax and stop the mist from falling and engulfing me.
We also talked about trying CBT and I asked the doctor to put me on the waiting list as this seemed suited to help me fix my thoughts. Just before Christmas time I thought a couple of days away would help me so we went to the Yorkshire Dales, which was really nice, but it didn’t really help me in the long term, just gave me a bit of escapism from my mind and I thought I was just avoiding the problem.
I also had a break from the counsellor other Christmas time and because I was with family and had time to forget I felt better or thought I did, but it hit me like a rock when I came back. My mood had changed, I just wasn’t bothered anymore so frustrated with it and so sick, I just was sad and withdrawn. I spoke to my counsellor about telling a friend which they thought was a good idea.