So I have been off my meds for about 1 week now, I slowly reduced them from 30mg over about a 6 week period. The decision to come off them was because of a number of reasons.
Firstly I didnt want to be on them for my wedding, I know this is stupid and they are nothing to be ashamed of but if im honest for all the shouting about stop the stigma I do still hold the same opinion on antidepressants as others do. Hence the reason I didnt want to be on them for my wedding.
Secondly although I was feeling in a really happy and good place I knew I was missing something about myself. It was the motivation to do things that needed doing, If i didnt know any better I would have said I was smoking cannabis, relaxed and carefree. Not in a high way but in a way that I felt no pressure. This was not ideal for me as I have deadlines to meet for work and this will ultimately lead me to progressing in my career. So this is the I came off the tablets in the hope that I would become more motivated. This has certainly happened, I feel back to my old self that little bit of stress and anxiousness is a great thing especially for myself where I used to thrive on pressure and often do the best I could when I was under this pressure.
I do feel that I need to keep this ‘stress/motivation’ on a leash as I am aware if it spirals out of control then I could find myself in a dark place again. With the help of those around my to stop me from going hell for leather thinking I am 100% I am sure I can keep myself on this track!