After watching a programme on mental health on ITV ‘i took my babies life’ it made me feel scared. Scared of how it can affect you and am I already predisposed to this as a weakness and will it happen again. Why did it happen to me???? Why am i in this situation that I am in because of it. I am doing nothing!!! And I am a failure because of it??? This sounds like depression is back but I fee like I am in complete control of what I am saying and more importantly thinking. I am just a nobody in life at the minute, wishing days weeks months to pass to get to the next day week or month. but for what just to dwell on my life as it is some more. This has without doubt knocked me for 6! I need to break free of this and get back to my normal self and not worry about what others might think of me who dont know how I was, how close I have been to the brink! I am a bit confused at the minute with where my life is going and what I am supposed to be doing!